Have you ever found yourself saying yes to something when, deep down, you really wanted to say no? I think we’ve all been there at some point. It’s almost as if we’re programmed to please everyone around us, except ourselves. We find it so difficult to say no, sacrificing our peace, comfort and happiness for others. Sometimes, saying no and setting boundaries is actually the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and even for others.
We used to have a history of not being able to say no or set any form of boundaries. If you can relate to this, it’s safe to say you are a people pleaser. But we don’t want you to feel bad because it’s something that you can change.
We often think that if we keep saying Yes to everything and everyone, we’ll be liked more and avoid conflicts. But here’s the twist—we end up feeling stretched too thin, and our peace starts to slip away. Have you ever felt that way? Like, you said Yes to help out with something, even when you really didn’t want to or didn’t have the time? We’ve all been there. It’s like you’re giving pieces of bubble away until there’s not much left for yourself.
But, we’d like to remind you that your bubble, your boundaries, are precious. Whether it’s at school, with friends, at home, at work, with family, setting boundaries helps us feel respected and safe.
Now, let’s talk about how to do it. When we use our voices to say No, it might feel a bit scary at first. But please remember, it’s a big step in taking care of ourselves. We think a good way to start is with something simple. If something doesn’t feel right to you, try saying, Thank you for asking, but I can’t this time. See? It’s polite, but you’re also sticking up for yourself.
And honestly, sometimes people might not understand right away why we’re saying No, and that’s okay. We all have our reasons and sometimes, it takes time for others to see them. The important thing is that you’re being true to yourself. You don’t have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You owe it to yourself!
However, it doesn’t mean we say No to everything. It’s all about balance. We’re learning to know when to say Yes and when to say No, and how to tell the difference. Think about whether something makes you feel excited or happy to help, or if it feels like too much and stresses you out. Listening to that inner feeling is key.
We all deserve to feel comfortable, happy, and safe with our boundaries. And when we respect others’ boundaries, too, we’re being the friends and allies we expect them to be to us.
So, we can start practicing setting our boundaries together and respecting others’, creating a world where everyone’s invisible bubbles are safe and sound. Remember, saying No is not only okay, but it’s also necessary, and you’re never alone in feeling this way. We’re all learning together, one step at a time. And we think that that’s something special.
