Friendship is one of the best gifts life has to offer. They have the ability to heal our souls but also destroy us if done the wrong way. We know the word “destroy” might sound melodramatic but we’re serious when we say a toxic friendship will drain you. This is why it is so important for us to evaluate every one of our relationships.
We see our friendships like these beautiful plants. They need sunlight, water, and a whole lot of love to flourish. But just as it is with plants, sometimes, despite our best efforts, we find weeds. And it’s essential, to evaluate each plant, to ensure we’re cultivating a garden that truly serves us.
So, let’s talk about these signs that we might be ignoring, in relationships that aren’t serving us well – a toxic friendship.
Our first sign is passive aggressiveness. Have you ever had a friend who says things are fine but their tone says otherwise? Yeah, that’s what we mean. It’s confusing and hurtful because it’s like they’re upset but won’t say why, making us guess what we did wrong. We think direct, kind communication is key in friendships.
Then, there are those times when our wins don’t seem to matter to them.There are also times when they make us feel silly for feeling happy, hurt or upset. Our feelings and wins should be validated by our friends, not brushed off or belittled.
We believe that boundaries are crucial in a healthy relationship. And friends who don’t respect our boundaries are like people who keep taking cookies from our jar without asking.
In spotting a toxic friend, we have to be honest with ourselves and observe how we feel around them. If you feel small around someone, like you’re less than, that’s a big red flag. Friends should lift each other up, not bring each other down.
Another sign is when they refuse to take accountability. We all mess up, that’s being human. But owning up to those mistakes, saying sorry, and trying to do better, that’s what friendship is about. If that’s missing, it’s tough to build trust.
Then there’s this – feeling stressed around them more than you feel at ease, watching your self-confidence and self-esteem shrink in their company, those are big, neon signs, friends.
If any of these weeds are popping up in your garden, it might be time for a chat with your friend. Sometimes, addressing it can clear the air, help both of you understand each other better, and grow even stronger. But, we know, sometimes leaving is what needs to be done. It’s tough, it hurts, but like pulling weeds, it makes room for more beautiful things to grow. And always, always, we aim for healthy approaches – kindness, directness, and a whole lot of self-care.
Let’s also turn the mirror on ourselves, ensuring we’re being the kind of friend we’d love to have. It’s all about growing together, learning from each other, and nurturing our gardens to be as beautiful as they can be.
Remember, we’re in this together, figuring it out one step at a time, and always striving to be the best version of ourselves.
